Why Can’t I Just ‘Get Over It’? The Science of Trauma, Stress & Stuckness

If You’ve Ever Thought, “I Should Be Over This by Now,” This Is for You.

You’re smart. You’re strong. You’ve handled hard things before.

So why does this one experience—this relationship, this betrayal, this moment—still feel like it has a hold on you?

You tell yourself:

• I should be over this by now.

• Other people have been through worse—why is this still affecting me?

• I just need to stop thinking about it and move on.

But no matter how much you rationally know you’re safe, the feelings linger. The triggers still come. The past still pulls at you.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know something: You’re not broken. You’re not weak. Your brain and body are doing exactly what they were designed to do.

And the reason you can’t just get over it has nothing to do with willpower—and everything to do with your nervous system.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Stuck. Your Nervous System Just Needs a New Signal.

If you’ve been frustrated with yourself for not “getting over it,” I want you to know this: You’re not failing. You’re protecting yourself.

Your body isn’t broken. Your nervous system just hasn’t received the full message that the danger is over and integrated that it is safe now.

The good news? **You can learn to befriend and work with your nervous system, understand its signals, and shift out of survival mode— and I can help you do that, starting now.